We’ve all heard of unrequited love, and unfortunately, many of us have experienced it, too. When you’re interested in someone and they don’t like you back, it can be incredibly painful. The good news is that it’s possible to move forward and heal in time. Today, we’ll talk about how to move on from unrequited love and how to find support if you need it.
How To Move On From Unrequited Love
Here are five tips for moving on from unrequited love:
- Distance yourself if you need to.
When you’re trying to get someone off your mind and move on, the best thing to do is often to distance yourself from them. Especially if some time has passed and nothing’s working, keep your contact to a minimum. You may consider muting the person in question on social media if you’re in a situation where you don’t want to block someone or hurt their feelings but need a break. Every situation is different, so do what’s most beneficial for you, and don’t feel bad if you have to spend some time away while you heal.
- Feel your feelings.
It’s important not just to feel your feelings but to value them. Your emotions matter, and so does your internal dialogue. Rather than push feelings down or to the side, let yourself hurt, and if this connection brings up a specific concern for you (sensitivity to rejection, insecurities, or negative feelings toward yourself, etc.), turn toward it and nurture yourself emotionally. Make sure that your internal dialogue is kind, and if you notice cognitive distortions such as all or nothing thinking and catastrophizing, challenge those thoughts. For example, if you think, “I’ll never find someone who makes me feel what they do again” or “no one will ever like me,” you might challenge those thoughts and work to reframe them by saying to yourself, “I have no evidence to support that this is true. I haven’t met all of the people I have the potential to meet yet, so I can’t guarantee that no one will ever make me feel this way again or that no one will ever like me.” A therapist or counselor will be able to help you with this if it’s something you struggle to do.
- Work on acceptance and think about what you want moving forward.
It is very possible both to let yourself feel the pain of this situation and to work toward acceptance. If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, the fact of the matter is that it’s not something you can control. You can control your actions, but you cannot control theirs, nor can you control their feelings or thoughts. No matter what possibilities lie in the future, it’s crucial to respect the fact that, right now, this person has expressed that they aren’t interested. Rather than trying to force a connection, take this as an opportunity to think about what you want in relationships and in life moving forward on a practical level. Maybe, you want someone who craves a similar lifestyle; a person who wants kids, or who wants to live in the city as you do. Perhaps, you value emotional intimacy. Consider your non-negotiables and know that, most likely, a lot of people are out there who share those qualities and desires.
- Spend time on your own hobbies.
When you’re going through a hard time, finding enjoyment and a silver lining where you can makes a difference. It may be tough to think about doing the things you love, whether that’s playing music, writing,
art, sports, or something else when you’re heartbroken, but having an outlet, finding appreciation where you can, and doing something that’s just for you can be wildly advantageous. Spend time on self-love and kindness toward yourself and find catharsis in the form of hobbies or activities that you enjoy and are healthy for you.
5. Don’t go through it alone.
Everyone needs a support system. Your personal support system might consist of friends, family members, a mental health provider, or other people involved in your life. Ensure that you’re nurturing your social connections and spending time with those you care about rather than isolating yourself, and if you need help or find yourself struggling on an ongoing basis, make sure to seek the help of a licensed mental health counselor or therapist. Being able to talk about how you feel in addition to being able to confront how you feel is often imperative both for personal growth and moving on, and if you don’t have the space to do so right now, it is possible to find it.
Find A Therapist
Whether you’re struggling with love and relationships, family life, stress related to work or school, symptoms of a mental health condition, or anything else that’s on your mind, talking with a therapist can help. There are a number of ways to find a therapist. You can ask your doctor for a referral, contact your insurance company, search the web, use a directory, or sign up for a reputable online therapy website with licensed providers. Regardless of how you find a therapist, you deserve to get the support that you need, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help and start the process today.
